5 Novels I Could Be Writing

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Well, we’re back in lockdown again and for me that means only one thing: I now have time to, if not write, then at least plan the Great Australian Novel.

But what genre will it be?

Here are five possibilities:

Roman a clef

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French for “novel with a key”, these are true-life tales hidden behind a thin veil of fiction.

Roman a Clef allow writers to:

– write terrible things about real people and not get sued

And/or

– write about their own lives and make themselves a little better (or worse) than they really are.

Roman a clefs of note include:

Postcards from the Edge – Carrie Fisher writing about her own struggles with addiction, rehab, family and Hollywood.

The Devil Wears Prada – Lauren Weisberger writing about her horrible boss Anna Wintour.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – Hunter S. Thompson writing about himself, his drug use, the Mint 400 car race and a whole lot more.

Black Water – Joyce Carol Oates writing about the Chappaquiddick incident.

Primary Colors – Anonymous/Joe Klein writing about what went on behind the scenes during the 1992 Clinton presidential campaign.

Picaresque

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From the Spanish word for bohemian, picaresque narratives are social satires with a roguish main character, who has many adventures but remains largely unchanged by any of them.

In other words, like a kid in online schooling, by the time it’s all over they haven’t learned a thing.

“Not a sausage.”
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Picaresque “rouges” you may have heard of include:

Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair (William Makepeace Thackeray)

Tom Jones, of Tom Jones (Henry Fielding)

Ignatius J. Reilly in A Confederacy of Dunces (John Kennedy Toole)

Tom Sawyer in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (Mark Twain)

And, while not particularly rogue-ish, Forrest Gump (Winston Groom) is also considered a picaresque protagonist, because although being present at key events in US history he isn’t changed or affected by any of them.

Epistolary

A story told through a series of journal entries, letters, newspaper clippings, emails or a combination of all these. Epistolary novels are typically first person narratives often, but not always, told through the eyes of one character.

Epistolary titles you have heard of include:

Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding

Dracula – Bram Stoker

The Color Purple – Alice Walker

World War Z – Max Brooks

Bildungsroman

Basically a “coming of age” tale, the Bildungsroman genre centres on a youthful protagonist who goes through profound psychological and moral growth.

So, unlike a picaresque protagonist, they do learn something.

“Good for them.”

A German word that roughly translates to “education novel”, Bildungsroman stories feature youthful characters, the loss of innocence, a journey to maturity and (perhaps) the line “I’ll never forget that summer at the Cape.”

You know the kind of thing:

Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)

To Kill a Mockingbird (Harper Lee)

David Copperfield (Charles Dickens)

The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky)

Kunstlerroman

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Again from the German, this “artists novel” is basically A Portrait of The Artist as a Young Man. Which is fitting, as that’s one of the books that falls squarely into this category.

The Künstlerroman genre is focused on an artist at the beginning of their career, who is forced to choose between a “traditional” life and that of an artist which often means: unemployment, squalor and heavy drinking.

“Sounds great”
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And I guess some of them actually write, act, paint, dance or make a little music too.

Titles include:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Betty Smith

Keep the Aspidistra Flying – George Orwell

Of Human Bondage – W. Somerset Maugham

Fun Home – Alison Bechdel

Although not wholly responsible for it, this genre has been known to perpetuate the stereotype that to be a true artist you must live on the fringes of society and reject the trappings of a “normal” life, like hygiene and bed frames.

“Get that out of my sight.” James Joyce.
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While I agree that pursuing a career in the arts was an incredible risk in years gone by (especially for women), in 2021 being an “artist” no longer demands such brutal sacrifices. Today, it’s possible to self-publish your sexy werewolf-romance novels, make money from them, AND still have a steady job, a nice home and, if you choose, a family.

What a time to be alive. Y’know, apart from the whole virus thing.

Anyway, now we’ve reached the end of the post I should probably mention that I’ve chosen a genre for my book.

Which one?

I mean, isn’t it obvious?

🥰😍😘🧡💖
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Are you a word nerd like me? Then why not check out these older posts:

5 Abstract Nouns I Can Relate To

Mortsafes: No Ghouls Allowed

5 Historical Hacks for Predicting the Future

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