Endemic to Australia, and often the first animal people think of when they envision the Land Down Under, the kangaroo shares the spotlight on nation’s Commonwealth Coat of Arms with the emu.
These two animals were chosen to represent our flat, brown crazy land because they both have difficulty moving backwards and therefore symbolise advancement and “a nation moving forward”. Unlike the koala, which symbolises sleeping for 20 hours a day.
Now, most countries wouldn’t dream of turning their national emblems into backscratchers and beer snacks, but Australia is not most countries. Wander around a souvenir store in one of our major cities and there, amongst the keychains, t-shirts and pot holders, perhaps tucked away in a corner of the store, you’ll find our most authentically Aussie keepsakes.
Fashioned from the body parts of one of our most iconic animals, the following souvenirs have been sold for decades and are not for the faint of heart. So, if you’re an animal lover, a vegan, or just don’t want to see pictures of tourist knick-knacks made from kangaroo knackers, then this post is not for you. Instead, click here for a much more sedate post about sea glass.
For those of you that remain, strap in, it’s about to get icky:
Kangaroo Paw Backscratcher
Combine your love of retro souvenirs and your love of taxidermy with this 35 cm long kangaroo paw backscratcher. Get to that hard to reach itch and scare small children. Leatherface would approve.
Kangaroo Scrotum Bottle Opener
Stop damaging your countertops and get classy with this ballsy bottle opener. Fits comfortably in the palm of your hand. Fur trimmed for a non slip grip.
Kangaroo paw bottle opener also available (as seen on the left).
Not a fan of nuts? Bored with beef? Then crack open a bag of kangaroo jerky. Packed with protein and keto-compatible. Nibbling on a national emblem has never been so satisfying.
Fun fact: these are also sold in Aussie supermarkets…as dog treats.
Kangaroo Scrotum Coin Pouch
Perfect for your family jewels and other tiny treasures. Available in small, medium and large. Contains more than just traces of nut.
And, while we’re on the subject our final item on the list is the –
Kangaroo Scrotum Keyring
Sure, you could get a normal keyring that fits in your pocket and won’t embarrass you at social gatherings or you could use this and GET NOTICED.
It’s your choice.
RESOURCES AND FURTHER READING: